Is this what despair looks like? Beyond the systemic supremacy of white men trying to have dominion over the earth and all beings on this rock, does the current pro-choice debate and the 2022 “draft opinion” on Roe v Wade feed the malaise settling over us? What reminders do we need of backstreet abortions? What reminders do we need of not having free will? Should women jump off the bridge now? Or would polite culture perhaps prefer women gather pockets full of stones, and like Virginia, wade more slowly and less messily into the sea? That women have their free choice on the line again is a stab in our collective society’s back by a branch of our government that is not elected, not given ethics rules, and unable to be fired due to the lifetime appointments they were granted to serve us.
Like Billie Jean King, I was denied independent, competent adult, free choice in my twenties. I was old enough to vote. I was old enough to get married. I was old enough to have a social security card.
I learned in my early twenties I was not old enough to get a bank loan or a credit card in my own name once I married. I was part of a greater whole. I thought I could make my own medical decisions, but the USAF doctor forced me to have a chest s-ray as part of their pregnancy protocol. I delayed as long as possible until my husband was called into answer why his wife was refusing to comply with doctor’s orders.
In civilian life, I would later learn I could not get a tubal ligation without my husband’s written permission. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I had delivered the “requisite” male and female progeny, assurances certain that “his” precious line would continue. And it wasn’t as if we hadn’t discussed every possible possibility ad nauseam as to what might, could, should, maybe, possibly, perhaps happen. After months of discussion we mutually arrived at the decision that I would get permanent control of any future births. He opted not to get a vasectomy because, as we all knew, they cut it off and pickle it as part of that procedure so God or the powers that be forbid, he have the snip-snip simplified procedure to control births from his control center of the universe. Unless I wanted to take a pill the rest of my reproductive days, use an IUD or some other form of birth control every time we had sex, a permanent solution was not available except for sterilization.
Billie Jean King had a worse experience. She also had to go plead to the hospital. States should have zero say in my decision to have any medical procedure done unless there was doubt as to my mental competency. My gynecologist gave me forms which required my husband’s signature. MY medical professional could not perform what I wanted done unless my husband granted his permission.
Fury. That and total disbelief are what I recall most. Outright rage. In that moment, I became a full-fledged feminist. Of course, the next discussion with my “master” after I had absorbed the shock of my non-adulthood status when I presented my husband with the forms resulted in much quicker negotiations. My option—Until the papers were indeed signed, this female was closed. A permanent “No Trepassing—Do Not Enter” sign was posted. No sex. No kissing. No hugs. No nothing. Zip. Zero. Nada. Civilized discourse was over. The sex ship had sailed. My husband was not getting back on board until the papers were signed, sealed, and delivered. This was war. No permission. No access. That discussion took about two minutes
I am pro-life. I believe guns need to regulated and the wholesale slaughter of our youth stop. I am pro-choice. I believe a woman has a fight to determine her future and is totally capable of making that decision if she is of sound mind. I am pro-science. I believe humans conceive by natural processes when a sperm fertilizes an egg. I do not accept immaculate conception as a theory. I accept that others do.
People are free to believe what they want to as guaranteed by the first amendment. I am pro-choice. What goes on in my doctor’s office is no one’s business but mine, the doctor, and anyone I give permission to be party to that discussion. I decline to invite the State of Delaware to participate or the Supreme Court who seem to want vigilantes to begin surveillance of my or any woman’s medical obstetric procedures.
We all need to be a pro-democratic republic now. We need to increase the court to get it more back in balance and the only way to do that at the moment is to make sure the Senate becomes as close to sixty democratic members as possible. Vote for responsible adults. Vote as if rights as a female matter and that HIPPA laws cannot be overturned by the court without laws being passed specifically addressing that. I do not want the Pope telling me to abstain. I don’t want anyone telling me anything about anything I discuss with my doctor. The court of supreme cannot create laws. Our elected officials do. Vote as if your life depends upon it.
Yours, Taylor
Note: The State of Delaware may still has this archaic rule. I hope not.